While “Two Italians at the top of a couloir” might sound like the beginning of a particularly bad joke, it’s in fact the prelude to “and then a massive powder avalanche funnels over the ridge and almost kills them.” Close. Call.

For those wondering, this was in the Canale Holzer – a pretty gnarly gulley (between 40-50 degrees of steepness) in the Italian Dolomites. You need to abseil at one point, which it seems these dudes were setting up for as the avalanche entered stage right. We’re betting the remainder of the descent was even more ring-quivering than usual.

[We've posted the video pre-loaded to where the madness begins, so press play and marvel at how the dude appears to be for the most part Ok by the end.]

In the latest addition to our Near Death files, a French dude peeks over the edge of a cliff, loses his footing, slips, tumbles through a minefield of craggy outcrops and ends by plummeting off a sizeable cliff. It starts out looking pretty bad and proceeds to get worse from there on in. Gut-wrenching. We thought he’d definitely be seriously injured after such a hectic ride – if not even a goner – but, much like the well-documented skier who slipped off a gnarly cliff last season, by the end you see he seems to have miraculously escaped any kind of serious injury. Insane.

And this just in from our French ed, who we asked to tell us what Monsieur Neuf Vies is saying…

In the beginning, when he starts coming down, he says “I’m crapping my pants!” and “I don’t even know how to get back to the resort!” then
“Aaaaahhhhhaaarrrgghhhhhhh!” [we'd already figured that one out...], then “I can’t believe I’m still alive…”

Was the guy super unlucky or just plain reckless?

We have no idea how this kid ended up dangling from a chairlift in New Mexico, but if ever there’s something to convince you to put the bar down it’s this.

Though the 45′+ fall did the dude some damage, he escaped serious injury as this report explains and was discharged from hospital after a couple of days of observation. Nevertheless, goofing around on a lift with the bar up was probably not the smartest thing he’s ever done…

We deem this is the second heaviest slam ever, performed by Fredi Kalbermatten during filming for the upcoming Standard Films production ’2112′. Taking overshooting a kicker to the next level…

Other Near Death experiences for your viewing pleasure.

And if you want to take part in Whiteout Magazine’s Swiss Bail of the Year poll, we guess you should visit their website.

Gjermund’s lucky to escape this encounter with a pole with his head still attached to his shoulders. This is a damned close call.

The latest addition to our slowly swelling Near Death files sees Norwegian ripper Gjermund Bråten dice with decapitation at Snowboarder mag’s Superpark last spring. We heard he’d taken a bit of a beating and were expecting to see it in one of those edits everyone’s encouraging each other to vote for on the internet, but till now we didn’t realise how close a call he had. Not sure how wise it is to have poles on the deck of booters, but one thing’s sure – without his cat-like recovery skills this could have been way worse…

Emilia Vanni shows every aspiring park rat how to hit the biggest kicker in Breckenridge for the first time. Keep in mind to put all the weight on your back foot, send out a prayer, and be on a good health insurance plan.

More Near Death videos.

As our German ed commented, “They’re pretty lucky, those girls. It’s impressive that none of them are dead.” Gabby Maiden’s über-scorpion is truly incredible to behold…

2nd – Near Death: Darrah Reid-McLean’s Minnesota Fence Slam

Oh sweet baby Jesus. To this day we have no idea how Peep Show rider Darrah Reid-McLean was able to walk after folding her back like a taco on that rail, let alone be able to ride again last season to put down a solid part in Winter Wars. Though we posted it in March and have seen it several times since, watching this still makes us weep.

1st – Mindblowing Snowskating Video

And number 1 in our chart of the most popular videos posted to the Onboard website in 2011 is… erm… not even a snowboarding video. But the machine doesn’t lie and it is certainly a mindblowing clip showing some full-on legit snowskating. We’d imagine there’s gonna be a couple of people with one of these in their lockers for bad weather days this winter.

That is all, thanks for your attention. We hope you SEND IT tonight and have an awesome 2012, despite what the Mayans and mentals would have you believe.

Grab yourself a brandy and reminisce on these couple of clips before chowing down on the bird.

8th – Near Death: Skier Falls Off Cliff

While we like nothing more than mocking our tall-teed doppelplankers, when we saw this and witnessed the full horror of what happened we were more than stoked the guy seemed Ok at the end. Jeez, imagine the tug in your gut. Oof.

7th – The Art of Flight Teaser 2: Very Metal

Unsurprisingly in 7th place is another clip dealing with The Art of Flight, this time it’s their second teaser. And as they did with That’s It, That’s All, Brain Farm followed up their first tickler with a subsequent one with a Metal soundtrack that spiked the internet back in July. Raar.

Places 6 – 5 drop in a couple days, so swing back then.

But watch for yourself and be reassured that no animals or riders were harmed (much) in this clip.